Through The Narcissist Lens
Summary: The subject was first studied for story drama purposes… “do they know” became less important than “why do they not understand the cause and effect and what drives a person to do something else?” This is a much requested insight. Imagine for a moment, there are ten types of human and not every person becomes an adult for a number of reasons. Some have a dark history… if that history isn’t processed with growth, it is masked.
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Before you read, have a little insight, it may help centre matters: Masked Emotional Instability
The who, what, why, when and how is key, it’s not a one-off impulse action, although impulsivity, short-term thinking, coverup, unable to think long-term about consequences and consideration are side effects of something much darker… What is behind the false self-construct and why does it project onto others without empathy and a need for control… under the radar or overtly broadcasted as something else.
The internal mechanisms of removing truth and accountability while projecting a false self are ongoing, do not expect change, the feedback loop was made a long time ago and only surfaces at certain times. Narcissistic Injury is a cycle linked to fear of exposure through a certain lens… the mask is hiding the agenda with lies… it creates paranoia and a need to create a facade.
Those with empathy for others have to see what all zero empathy for other’s behaviour looks like, how some is heavily masked through copying others to go unnoticed. Or know why a certain view of others exists when no one is looking. The unhealthy comparison is an ongoing issue for some, a lack of emotional intelligence and growth has a fixed mindset. Malignant types think their corner-cutting is a gift.
Knowing the lens of someone else is vital if it’s a loved one, partner, family, friend, neighbour, work, and stranger acting with a view. Rather than being judgmental, spot the signs.
There are a number of pathways a person can figure out what is going on inside the narcissistic equation. It’s masked via the false self-construct, facade, charm, an agenda on top of an agenda. The lens is seeing and processing other people with a purpose and need not what everyone may think from the public presentation. Many diagnosed people have come forward to confirm the insight, data and professional opinion. The malignant types are going to avoid the truth as there is a completely different thinking pattern happening on the inside and it is not linked to a full adult development, no matter the words or charm.
Action to Take: Spot the truth and step back… cognitive distortions are in play, the ‘fit the narrative’ of a child’s mind is still in operation. 2+2 is made into 1. And it’s covered up. Mirror neurons, the past, the feedback loop isn’t allowing anything in to be considered.
Born or Made: NPD is linked to the development stages in childhood and bad role modelling, the generation abuse cycle, its how the same internal hurt is projected on to others behind closed doors, the example is copied and masked, just how it was observed. There is nothing original happening. Family histories show all the answers and Enmeshamanet will be present.
Genetic precursors mean generations can be prone to NPD. Psychopaths are narcissistic so a narcissistic psychopath means the empathy wasn’t there from the beginning… what follows may make a person malignant, act against others with justification for their needs.
It’s very important to have the right education and environment to stop a child from turning manipulative through a lack of the good stuff. Nothing is hiding in plain sight; the operations and justifications have been there for a long time. Learned, a slant on processing.
Considerations: Timing. Obvious actions, statements and comments. Behind closed door actions, statements and comments. How a person with a Cluster B personality disorder reacts to accountability, fear of exposure, not processing their actions, only seeing other people’s reactions, odd comments, gaslighting (go along with my fit the narrative my head), it’s them, not me (for the 100th time), silent treatment, emotional abuse subtle or rage. The mind is not making considerations the general population can do.
The bigger the lie, the bigger the coverup or gossip or smear campaign, fear of exposure ignites the fear, pushes the truth away and exposes the lack of empathy for others at the same time. Every action is exposure to an educated person.
So why lie, live in a fantasy, feel the need to emotionally abuse those who don’t conform? the child trying to control the environment to prevent triggers while living with no empathy and a childhood to project onto others…. the trauma bond, hurt people hurt other people, the lens has been negatively influenced, unfortunately… while masking an unhealthy comparison through a lack of development at the core. A mind update would help, but the last person to do so is the person who needs it the most… they mask until the next trigger or truth to suppress.
Generic Processing: A lack of empathy for others, the human wifi called effective empathy; some may have cognitive empathy, mostly zero empathy for others. Those with some cognitive empathy may use it to harm or influence other people’s self-esteem and perception. An unscientific term - Dark Empath. The same self-serving actions, but when influence is forced and directed by the hidden agenda, it’s with a targeted view to use effectively. Intension and coverup are linked to the delusional view of superiority or assumed given right.
It didn’t develop in childhood. Empathy requires a development chapter without the interference of abuse, bad role modelling, life lived with accountability. Don’t level the baby in the cave is a harsh term; being surrounded by balanced social skills go a long way. Not everyone ages without growth from certain situations; this essay is about no growth and why the child or teenagers’ perception is still present. Then they decide to follow what was experienced, taut, learned, felt… to be malignant or not.
This is where the subject requires more consideration, so the victim card is not believed but exists for a reason… many reasons beyond using it as a purposeful dangerous tool. Faking being the victim while hiding the truth is linked to being the disruptor with core actions that hurt others is dangerous. A tool others would not go near.
If a person has empathy for others, they navigate one way and value people differently. Without empathy, the me, me, me is only considered rather than the you, me and the situation. One pathway is linked to long-term thinking, nothing to do with success, as eventually a person will be found out by going to far, faking, blameshifting, blaming the victim, using others…it leaves a residue to observe, detect and document.
Why do so few people with NPD come forward? Conditioning. Bad role model conditioning. No accountability conditioning. Can’t be vulnerable to the fact of being wrong and then feel guilt and shame to learn from it. The truth has always been pushed away, and the ego is protected without balance or consideration.
Quote: “See the truth as freeing, not to make your public persona look bad.” The lies wont allow processing.
The old child or teenager will struggle with knowing more about the adult world; and how adults live beyond the lens… certain life lessons should have been learned in childhood before being covered over.
Having a peep behind the carefully constructed facade and false self-construct… layers of blameshift requires accountability and a new equation… what if having no empathy for others doesn’t allow change and growth?
Plus, enablers allow what shouldn’t be allowed due to a lack of education and perception, flying monkeys assume without thinking, and some with low self-esteem states may allow influence.. kind hearted empaths before education may give the benefit of the doubt…that is the truth to overcome “it works for me, what are you on about.” may echo until the next observation to coverup.
Everyone else re-educates, steps back, chooses a life without the projected trauma bond, highly manipulative or deceptive approaches to gain a narcissistic supply and do what shouldn’t be happening. Imagine an eight years old who has been eight for too long, its starts to make sense when the narcissistic lens tightens with age. No offence to those growing at age eight, enjoy playing games, your eight. It’s the other eight years old’s that have control issues mid life or late life. Help is always to hand, but it comes laced with truth, facts, the whole nine yards.
References:
PT - The Most Insidious Way a Narcissist Dismantles Your Sense of Self
How Narcissists Pretend to Impress, Manipulate, and Use You
Medium - I See the World Through the Lens of Narcissism
LR - A Trauma-Informed Lens On The Narcissist/ Co-Dependent (Empath) Dynamic- Part 1
