Mind Software Residue
Insight: Connecting with lairs on any level is bad for mental health.
Summary: Humans have to go through a complex development before reaching adulthood… fact. It’s key to having a good start and progress in a good environment with accountability, education, empathy, and prosocial interaction. Not everyone has that; not everyone has to follow questionable examples.
Psychology Today - The Risk Factors for Continuing the Cycle of Abuse
Before you read, have a little insight, it may help centre matters: Masked Emotional Instability
Choices are always available, and they should be considered if something doesn’t add up. What is unhealthy for one is unhealthy for two… what does lying do to the human mind and body… spotting a liar over time or in the moment… health can be noted when someone is living a lie… as well as conversation and body language that matches or conflicts with a person’s timeline.
References:
FHE - Pathological Lying Can Occur with These Mental Disorders
RJ - Surprising effects of telling lies on our mental health
Psychology Today - The Truth About Lying and What It Does to the Body
BB - The Impact of Lying: Is It Really a Big Deal?
Psychology Today - The Psychology and Impact of Lying and Self-Deception
NIH - Influence of False Self-Presentation on Mental Health
Medium - The Psychological Impact of Lies:
MPC - How Lying Can Impact Your Mental Health
Science Direct - The physiology of (dis)honesty: does it impact health?
Considerations, not in any order.
Element 1: Residue can be left in two people’s minds… from one liar.
Element 2: Memories made from lies create a tangled mess, the human mind prefers truth.
Element 3: How the false self-construct is created on top of a tangled mess, two reasons.
Element 4: If the second person removes themselves from the liar, their mind re-adjusts.
Element 5: Gaslighting daily, lying to create a ‘fit the narrative’ perception, is very harmful.
Element 6: Related subjects to watch out for.
Simple Example –
Two people sharing an afternoon; person one is a liar but tries to make it work for them:
Person one says ‘don’t invite them around; they always complain about things’.
Person two agrees. At a later date person two finds out that person one and three had a day together and person one talks about it in a way unrelated to ‘they complain about things’. Person two processes with confusion, leaving a residue about the conflicting agenda of person one. “Why would they say that?”
What is missed or not understood is person two who tells lies has been building up a residue over time from the suppressed lies with little concern for cause and effect on themselves. Over time the has to layer over the tangled memories of lies that have to go through human brain processing its natural equation that wants truth even in the slightest moment. A build-up of false assumptions, false statements still needs to be referred to at a later date, adding to the tangled mess on top of a tangled set of memories.
The false self construct can be built through an affected development from external influences not good for the human mind. The second situation purposely affects the perception of living a lie on biased terms. The liar walks a different path…. Something can go pop, and eventually, living a lie becomes too much to manage, the façade becomes too heavy.
One of the key elements to longevity is authentic processing, it keeps the mind in shape, fresh, less tangled mess the better; otherwise, it’s doing two jobs at once, layering a lie on top and reality and needing to pick, choosing, discard… this can be seen externally in a narcissistic person’s actions as well as inside their mind… getting it wrong, doing wrong, covering it up, damaging what the can’t figure out “what can’t be felt can’t be seen” the bottlenecking approach to serve the self has consequence at a later date… its just delayed.
Person two who has a transactional relationship, or maybe just a charming detached relationship with person one can get affected by person one’s lies, by needing to double-check instead of having simple authentic memories of human exchange. In a friendship, its one effect, in a marriage, it can be very harmful over a period of time. Warning about marrying a liar goes without saying; it’s ongoing for many trying to conform to a lair while thinking, ‘its ok really… it’s ok… it’s ok… better on think about it… it’s ok’.
Person one, the lair, will have a number of covered-up experiences in their mind, which will lead to certain issues over time…. That is for another essay: anyone who knows a life of lies, the lie behind the eyes will eat you alive concept, knows it never ends well.
Person two could consider picking their friends more wisely or at least spend less time with person one less, knowing what is really going on about person one ‘wanting people around them on certain terms’. They are defaulting with a slant to be convenient at the expense of long-term relationships while gaining attention is certain ways, possibly seeing others transactionally in a façade.
Plus, the real damaging side - effecting people’s perception that will pick up on the charm and questionable odd thinking patterns that may affect everything in person one’s life, and the need to keep suppressing it daily. Being judged for being fake. What happens when person one leans on person two to vent, person two will not bother, seeing the person one effects their life without thinking or caring for cause and effect.
It all sounds like a lot of hard work to serve a false self-construct and ignore the human design with a full spectrum of capacity that has daily management even by simply being honest and genuine. It’s the interaction with others that is genuine that gives a boost to everyone. Those who don’t get it, add to others, unfortunately, but navigation in reality means everyone and everything is being seen for what it is… better than the other opinion, so step back and reflect on how you would approach various choices and keep that to hand.
Side note - Comparing is one way to spot a lair before gaining more advanced skills that offer deeper insight t before they have even opened their mouth… body language, and time observing without a truth bias in place. Assessing ten situations is more accurate than one.
Sign of - Residue in the human mind can offer insight into where things don’t add up… too much is not a good thing for anyone… the professional view is ‘Have you got an exit plan’ for extreme cases. For more mild cases, knowing not everyone knows how to process reality and in their past, something may of happened that triggers false self-construct… or bad role modelling. If a deceptive person who deceives themselves wants everyone to go along with their ‘fit the narrative’ then be careful. The unhealthy side hasn’t been seen under the surface… at first, anyway. The self-deception will be confused to why no one gets ‘how great they are via their performance’…
Not everyone knows how good authenticity is good for the soul… something was missed out, they may see life is a game of people and distraction… because its easier and more convenient for a less developed perception of life…. It sounds like the schoolyard masked.. probably is. Stay on your toes, the old saying don’t sound that practical, be mindful of your own’s minds health, its precious, just like time.
One side effect of having an awareness beyond the face value is those who mask feel uncomfortable around those who look beyond, they need someone not to look close. Authenticity has more connection, it’s automatic to create a quality time moment rather than a superficial exchange. Being more aware can make navigating easier by repelling some (“they don’t get me, I should be allowed to be me, regardless”) while giving more time to those who respect it and try not to add a bias…
A second subject to study - those that add drama when it is not required or even has a point. There will be a point just not seen at first. It can be is a reaction to how things a seen, adding something for stimulation or attention… keeping things interesting… or something less developed and ignored.
A third subject – blame-shifting away when the feel guilt from something they are doing, and they use another person to look bad and make themselves look better or hide what they are doing. This is due to a lack of processing of adult responsibility to being accountable. This can be seen as the schoolyard or an adult who is not actually an adult in terms of perception.
Side Note: How does one inform a lair about a lair? Someone has to see an opportunity to go beyond a flawed perception and feel the effects of a transformation and better mental and physical health benefits.