Narcissistic Injury and Beyond - Half Essay
Narcissistic Injury and Beyond - Half Essay
Summary– Consider trying easier articles first. This is not an easy read for some; others may find complete relief in knowing what they have experienced through making allowances.
LL - Gaslighting: Examining the Warning Signs
Psychology Today - The Risk Factors for Continuing the Cycle of Abuse
Before you read, have a little insight, it may help centre matters: Masked Emotional Instability
VeryWellMind - Why Do People Blame the Victim?
VeryWellMind - What to Do If You or a Loved One Lack Empathy
FOS - Complaints That Involve Economic And Domestic Abuse
Barton Family Lawyers - Your Legal Guide to Divorcing a Narcissist – Narcissistic Abuse Explained
GEE - 8 types of people who never deserve a second chance, according to psychology
This essay will offer a full insight into the who, what, why, when, and how and what will follow. Review the links to articles that help spot the signs that someone is without balance, consideration, empathy, and a strong possibility of a personality disorder being undiagnosed and active.
What does Narcissistic Injury have to do with emotional abuse? For many, it’s the first open door to understanding what will happen behind the gaslighting comments and for the outside world façade.
Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Injury: Definition, Signs, & Examples
PsychCentral - Spotting and Dealing with a Smear Campaign by a Narcissist
Marriage - How to Make a Narcissist Fear You: 15 Proven Strategies
Choosing Therapy - 10 Signs of a Female Psychopath (and men but are different)
Research narcissistic abuse (part 1) and flying monkeys (part 3). Narcissistic injury is part 2, which is the 'not accepting no and stop' as the concluding action. What causes Narcissistic injury? One simple word...Truth. It's not that dramatic, but it is felt differently to someone who will try anything to avoid truth and exposure, or there would not be success in a reaction to simple feedback. A complete exposure linked to decades of deception will lead to a smear campaign cover-up; the narcissistic injury goes deep, right back to the core issue. Childhood in 99% of cases.
Disinformation - (keep the truth out regardless, big lie, big coverup to distract, there is a processing, guilt and shame reaction happening at the core)
BFL - Your Legal Guide to Divorcing a Narcissist – Narcissistic Abuse Explained
CH - Flying Monkeys. Unravelling the Origins of a Term in the Context of Domestic Abuse
The Role of Flying Monkeys in Domestic Abuse
Flying monkeys in the context of domestic abuse play various roles, all of which serve to reinforce the abuser’s control and manipulation:
Spread Disinformation: They may spread lies and rumours about the victim, often echoing the narcissist’s narrative to discredit and isolate the victim further.
Harassment and Intimidation: Flying monkeys can also engage in direct harassment, sending messages or making calls on behalf of the abuser, serving to intimidate and control the victim.
Spying and Reporting Back: In some cases, they act as the eyes and ears of the abuser, reporting back on the victim’s activities and state of mind.
Enabling Denial: Their actions can provide the abuser with plausible deniability, as the abuser can claim they are not directly responsible for the actions of others.
True or False: There is only one thing worse than a malignant covert narcissist, and that is a bored malignant covert narcissist.
The conclusion is living near narcissistic injury can be a very harmful experience for anyone getting too close to a highly manipulative personality disorder with the subtle threat of injury, so the blame only goes one way. Going beyond the mask and façade for the general public or uneducated.
True or False: Paranoia can drive a manipulative person crazy if they fear exposure and all they have done is public knowledge... that's what drives a smear campaign...their worst fear is done to someone else. Narcissistic injury is simple: when you know how deceptive a person is, the bigger their secret is, the bigger their smear campaign must be.
True or False: With Psychopathy, a psychopath may say the exact opposite to what they think, that simply when looking at everything else they do, it's called a 'reverse face value' you can ask them questions with this in mind.
The emotional abuser exposes themselves once the cycle is seen for what it actually is. Observe patterned behaviour and go back decades, if necessary; all answers to why injury is triggered are seen in how a person is made or born, depending on the undiagnosed disorder.
Learn the narcissistic cycle that connects emotional abuse; narcissistic injury leads to triangulation, also known as the flying monkey’s phase – using others to enforce guilt with clean hands. If that becomes active, you have a narcissistic person who connects process accountability; they don't feel the damage they will cause in other people's lives beyond sadism if the disorder meets the criteria for the Dark Tetrad.
The narcissistic mind cannot process shame while maintaining a public façade with control issues. Shame has to be suppressed fast. Facades are carefully tied up with a mask personality, but at the core, the real issues create reactions to feedback and see it as a threat. They use emotional abuse to feel better when their own charm or sense of control fades. The mirror neurons are not working in the prefrontal cortex.
True or false: A highly deceptive, emotionally deregulated person may been emotionally abusing others covertly for years due to their childhood development stage.
Subtle is more manipulative. Emotional abuse stems from a control issue, detached or abusive parenting affecting the child’s development. When an adult, the situation is flipped. The posting of caregiver is not done from a good position, learning from what has gone before, changing the elements around. From overt to covert or vis-versa.
True or False: Emotional abuse is not 100% of the time. Covert and overt emotional abuse is a chargeable offence.
True or False: A smear and flying monkey have three purposes.
Answer: 1. Hide something shocking; the shame is too much to bear. 2. Step back and use others to induce guilt, wanting hands clean. 3. Expose undiagnosed personality disorders and triggers from people who fear exposure but end up exposing themselves.
Action to take: Document everything.
A public personality mask will try to hide what happens when no one is looking or what goes on behind closed doors. At first, and partly due to the effectiveness of a very manipulative victim card, exposing emotional abuse and emotional manipulation has a few pointing fingers, blame shifts and blame to the victim and truth-teller to get past first. Patience will always show an agenda going through a full narcissistic injury cycle.
Narcissistic injury is the contradictory reaction that happens when the abuser is exposed and confronted. They may fear exposure, lose control of what people think about them, and fear all their suppressed behaviour rushing to the surface (lies leave a residue).
The reaction to one situation will not just be about that situation. Their perception of you has been altered by a lack of conformity to a situation with a ‘fit the narrative’ theme to prevent triggers. A manipulative disorder struggles with changing the self and doesn't like it in others.
The feedback loop convinces the person of something unhealthy; outside information isn’t processed with the usual considerations so you may find, along with the narcissistic injury and control issues, odd views on people you know will come into conversation as a test or to stem. The disorder can appear everywhere once educated.
Last to be noted can be jealousy and envy, which are linked to the fragile ego hidden behind the over-inflated compensating behaviour. The covert and vulnerable types still have the same cycle of unhealthy comparisons. If this can be seen early, know that excessive gossip is done about everyone, even when you are absent, as the disorder follows the same pathway.
Gossip turns to smear with narcissistic injury. A narcissist will throw anyone under a bus, use their children for deflection in a smear campaign, use them for money when credit cards, loans and overdrafts are out of control, and do the opposite of the statements. The lack of empathy for others is always mixed with a victim card, a charm of justification. Envy is seeing someone about to do better and pulling it down or cutting it off.
True or False: If development was not sound in childhood and help was not gained and processed, looking for validation will continue; if manipulative traits develop through emotional abuse and no love with a certain born temperament, then not feeling special becomes everyone else problem.
Overreacting with control issues may appear with several tricks. One is to poke the victim further to get them to look like they are the disruptor; this can happen before the main blame the victim chapter begins, linked to covering their tracks “You can see why, look.” It is an extension of the chip and poke routine.
What is unhealthy on the inside, with unhealthy comparisons mixed with triggers, can formulate a strange form of humour. "I'm joking" repeated many times... it's a narcissistic person trying to gain supply, and showing empathy is completely missing. They have two choices: Either put people slightly lower than their perceived view of themselves and make no real effort in life and use others. Or seek counselling to generate self-awareness.
True or False: The best option is to walk; what is unhealthy for one is unhealthy for two.
True or False: Narcissistic supply can make a person look and act like someone going through cold turkey.
Narcissistic supply has a number of forms. The silent treatment loop that makes people think they should check on the narcissist only to have "so you do love me." Breadcrumbing, taking more than giving, watching people compensate without realising. Covering up past manipulations, tricking people, and gossiping is very unhealthy. People will appear drained when living with a narcissist as the void needs filling daily from someone. Abuse or receiving compliments is like crack or oxygen.
True or False: When educated, everyone can see the charm is part-time; the emotional abuse is never full-time, but you are being watched and talked about when not present, and everyone is gossiped about. They will turn up outside your school without warning, work, surprise visits, manipulate people's self-esteem and get others to make it look like you are not trying. "Other people make me arrogant" can be said.
True or False: A family can gang up on a scapegoat or truthteller without a second thought. Their correct emotional intelligence may not be noted at first. If honesty is missing, count two. Truth is an uncomfortable frequency to soon out, like a child not liking the idea of paying the mortgage, they want toys.
Adult conversations are not for all assumed adults; the child or teenager might be the most dominant voice in the body expressing microexpression of contempt. Emotional abuse and smartness are not for the same character assessment. Considering emotional development, a person must feel some form of insecurity and compare themselves in an unhealthy way to others. Manipulative, not smart.
True or False: Emotional abuse is a form of control driven by the fragmented ego in the adult world, and those who are not happy with their height are prove to emotionally abuse others to feel better about themselves.
Action: If very serious issues are close to being uncovered, decades of hidden actions, the motivated drama to distract will be high or through others, no boundaries, all angles. You might be on to something much bigger than you first realise, have the authority observe the facts, and a professional check the behaviour as well as what is seen online.
Some people won’t want to believe the truth because they can get past their own influences or what the manipulator has said over the years…not everyone can see others correctly if they only focus on themselves.
Many manipulators believe their own lies, so they are convincing when acting, research psychopathy and the lack of regret with lying.
Without realising at first, you could be dealing with a person who was born with a personality disorder and then abused or has no accountability. Study the dark triad and the dark tetrad.
An example of a personality disorder and control issue - A person won’t admit they are emotionally and financially fraudulent for their own gain, saying one thing doing another, emotionally abusive when no one is looking, claiming the person they abuse offers no attention to their situation, They also manipulate others with stories and a need for narcissistic supply. They cause drama and pressure when questioned with "why do you think that?" After an irresistible damage smear campaign, they may a text out of the blue, on holiday, with ‘I miss you, I love you’. Disorders always expose themselves... eventually. However much someone tries to deny accountability with gaslighting, they have the problem, not you.
True or False: A person with affective and cognitive empathy will think one way with accountability, consideration and long-term choices, a person without will do something else when fear of exposure is triggered. Feedback is not an option; the lie behind the eyes is not processed in any way; it may be put on to someone else instead, guilt and shame are not in the equation, only “why me?” or “if I am hurting, so must they.”
References -
Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Injury: Definition, Signs, & Examples
SimplyPsychology - What Is Narcissistic Injury?
Cleveland Clinic - Emotional Dysregulation
Psychology Today - Dealing with the Narcissist's Smear Campaign
NE - A New Way To Spot A Narcissist’s Smear Campaign
PsychCentral -Narcissistic Injuries: What They Are and More
Psychology Today - Understanding Narcissistic Injury
PsychCentral - The Enmeshed Family System
Psychology Today - How to Handle a Manipulator When They Don’t Get Their Way
Psychiatric Times - Adding Insult to Narcissistic Injury
Psychology Today - The Narcissistic Wound
ForBabesSake - What is narcissism?
GoodTeraphy - How a Person with Narcissism Responds to a Perceived Offense
NAR - What is a Narcissistic Injury?
The discussion may require further education to document: (More a social or home, plagues the schoolyard and may stick in adult life, bad role-modelling, conditioning of how undeveloped minds think of ways to control others.)
Direct and Indirect forms of abuse, how to spot the history when matters change tactics to smear and deflect onto others, or a professional victim card appears.
Test Question - Smear, what is it and why does it happen in childhood, families, schools, places of work, going undetected? What is its design, and why is it a secondary sign of something more harmful?
It is important to realise when playing catch up to matters of concern that smear is secondary, not primary (an extension of gaslighting). Smear can occur as a tool used after the direct damage/gaslighting/various forms of emotional or physical abuse have been employed over time with mixed aggression, so the questionable behaviour continues undetected without training or education to spot the signs.
Smear - Using in-direct methods linked to control issues to extend guilt or shame onto someone with emotional abuse/pressure can be an indicator of deceptive high-functioning behaviour appearing in the secondary evidence in the abuse timeline.
True or False: The full definition is a narcissistic smear. The internal mechanism operates externally, showing a lack of empathy for others, an internally damaged feedback loop, control issues, avoiding processing and accountability, blameshifting to damage truth and facts to continue with a mask/stimulation and gaslight through others when the target/victim chose not to accept a personality disorder (unusually undiagnosed) or continue deception or self-deception.
A hurt person hurts other people to avoid a lie/action, or behaviour. Guilt and shame are put on to others as the child's mind inside the adult cannot process reality with balance or the perception of others. The carefully crafted false self-construct inside a facade built over time from childhood experiences of abuse or no accountability or both.
Fantasy, triggers and abuse behind closed doors, sometimes in public. High functioning is harder to spot.
The giveaway is simple: Using others while those ‘others’ are unable to go beyond face value, impressional or harmful as well. Exposure on numerous accounts while the ‘others’ extend and become an abusers while the core negative disruptor tries to stay clean.
Further secondary evidence linking to the coverup of primary evidence… a reaction to ‘fear of exposure’, reacting to something, not reacting to ‘nothing’.
More than one narcissistic person will expose themselves, and more than one unbiased personality disorder will expose themselves. Not every adult has an adult mind due to childhood development. A Professional victim can be present as a tool… the child is still present. They will harm their own children’s growth, and so the cycle continues.
Test question response - If marked wrong even after presenting key markers, review the Smear or Flying Monkeys web pages, then seek advice locally or call 101 or 999 or 911 (US). The confusion a person might be experiencing has a design to do just that, confuse…so the victim cannot see who is causing harm over time. The outcome is harming a person’s mental health over time.
Gaslighting has a design and has an agenda to go undetected (linked to an abusive person’s masked/damaged ‘for the narrative perception), a stimulating game to one person with mixed aggressive behaviour… very harmful to another if not safeguarded.
The unfortunate experience is linked to an undiagnosed disorder is trying to influence others at any cost with detachment and control issues (assuming they own someone else’s perception, their parent did it to them, for example, learned). Remove Truth Bias (many grow up assuming with a positive comparison).
They will go on to harm networks, another giveaway that something is unstable/damaging/without processing of the self or accountability enabled… a masked internal thinking system/equation will go on to abuse for control indirectly to equally harmful as direct abuse. In many ways, it is the extension that is learned, used and once felt so projection on to others is a way of making others feel the same hurt; what inspires can be all the lies right behind the eyes. An abuser can claim the things they do are what the victim is doing to them. A lack of imagination and what is in thought is what is used, a key giveaway to a lack of emotional intelligence and future development.
True of False: To maintain control of a lie/action or a facade, the disruptor assumes what they do is acceptable in their eyes as their eye learned what they use from a bad role model.
