Pathological Liars
Summary: A collaboration. Imagine a person without empathy who is covertly manipulative. At first, it may be hard to understand the different types of minds that try to hide in plain sight, but there is a reason that doesn’t justify the behaviour.
If matters are urgent, go straight to the videos just below. The first link will also be helpful.**
Choosing Therapy - Going No Contact With a Narcissist: Everything You Need to Know
Guilt, shame and accountability are avoided for a reason. (Video - Am I a Narcissist) The professional victim covers up ( the lowest form of emotional abuse, faking the victim while they abusing and blamshifting to their victim); the issues can go back to childhood or two generations back. Never take a pathological liar at face value; document everything; it's a mind game and a mind disorder for a number of reasons; some can be very abusive, trying to deny a reality via gaslighting to maintain control through a hidden deep insecurity. Holding court or holding a pathological lair accountable triggers injury and then colipase. The facade is bound and built on lies that cannot grow or support over time as everyone else grows. The emotional abuser cannot grow and gain self-awareness, so control issues and blameshift develop to hide actions that should not happen. Document everything, and learn how someone becomes a pathological liar linked to childhood experiences, well before a deceptive action is noted more than once. Justification runs deep in a disorder that requires treatment, which is avoided in a high-functioning emotional abuser.
D.A.R.V.O. and beyond the disorder that is instrumental in its third-party attack, reality and truth are not what they appear to be for everyone; ‘rules are for other people’ echoes in the smear that exposes the pathological liar that needs to cover up in themselves and in other people’s perceptions. The mind games are there for a reason, and it is toxic.
If asked the right questions, a different person may reveal themselves as feedback is seen as something else. A number of videos below can explain the behaviour habits and cycle directed from a damaged feedback loop with a bias and missing empathy. Many victims come out of the situation thinking the abuse is unique, only to realise the toxic behaviour is more widespread for people near those who haven’t spotted what the unhealthy comparison is all about and what it leads to behind closed doors.
This essay has a slight bias; the design is mainly for the victims of pathological liars. Help the victim first, and then the victim can see beyond their first assumed perception on their own. Help the victim spot all the patterns of behaviour that bound the pathological liar to their own trap and perception of others. Pathological liars may see something, but usually, the ‘fit the narrative’ is usually the priority for matters that a pathological lair may not understand for a long time without careful professional guidance linked to deconstructing the suppression and deflection of guilt and shame, which is linked to a lack of empathy for others that can be linked to past events or genetics. If time is a person's most valuable asset, perception is the gift some lack; unfortunately, the reason can be found beyond any deceptive statement or action; the key element now is to pay attention to all details without a bias or influence attempting to adjust and deflect.
Always consider the value of caring and accountability; it is linked to a number of positive elements that make a human being balanced and grounded. Being deceived is not something to be concerned about at first; the priority is the second required education to help heal and regain matters that are clearly not to be owned by anyone else… your mental health and perception to not see the full picture or the life and choices of a liar’s mind.
Medical News Today - What to know about pathological liars
The pathological lair’s emotionally abusive acts and statements can offer closure when matters are removed from the deceptive person's manipulative intention to control other people’s perceptions. The first act, “It is different when I do it.” The second act is to deflect accountability via a third party. It pays to pay attention to patterned behaviour trying to cover up an agenda and lies via harming truths to fit a narrative. See the video titled ‘Am I A Narcissist?’ the pattern of reaction, assumption, and deflection is now universal and noted traits to observe. The cycle of avoidance can be used to expose the lies in a simple process. A ‘fear of exposure’ is a reaction to something, not a reaction to nothing; all the lies are stored right behind the eyes, piling up and creating internal destabilisation and triggering a delusional view of who should have the shame. If Narcissistic injury or collapse is created, it can be seen as the weight of the facade and lies becoming too much for the pathological liar trying to keep up.
Targeting (see all links to why they do it) will have started as a hidden action to gain conformity and mask issues long before confronting a pathological lair, so expect D.A.R.V.O. (Deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender) and targeting to be the internal pattern to extend into matters the pathological lair see no boundaries to consider, it is all evidence to give closure, no considerations in mind, no considerations when external accountably is a request, feedback or debate.
JB - Who Do Narcissists Target? Unveiling 7 Common Traits Victims Display
KW - Who Do Narcissists Target?
Psychology Today - If You Are the Target of Narcissistic Abuse
Minc - Smear Campaign Survival Guide: Legal Actions to Fight Back and Restore Your Reputation
Shame is too much for one pathological liar's mind, so it is shared in ways to keep the truth from taking over the facade and public image. Further evidence of a harmful disorder trying to avoid accountability is the action should happen in the first place; they avoid accountability, the secondary action linked to secondary evidence is indirect coverup… the detachment can concerns expose itself. Stay safe from third-party abuse to cover up abuse; the pathological lair is not going to be exposed by simply agreeing their actions are wrong; it is a fantasy of attachment without processing, a different mind. Watch the film 'Stalking and Harassment.' Third-party stalking is part of attempting to own a person's perception who is yet to fully spot the high-functioning disorder with an unhealthy, covertly controlling agenda. A compensating behaviour is using others to spy. Try to imagine why someone would do such a thing. It is not linked to balance; constant lying is attached to the naive view they are at the centre of all actions.
The Role of Flying Monkeys in Domestic Abuse (Third-party abuse to cover up the primary abuse, more of the same)
Flying monkeys in the context of domestic abuse play various roles, all of which serve to reinforce the abuser’s control and manipulation:
Spread Disinformation: They may spread lies and rumours about the victim, often echoing the narcissist’s narrative to discredit and isolate the victim further.
Harassment and Intimidation: Flying monkeys can also engage in direct harassment, sending messages or making calls on behalf of the abuser, serving to intimidate and control the victim.
Spying and Reporting Back: In some cases, they act as the eyes and ears of the abuser, reporting back on the victim’s activities and state of mind.
Enabling Denial: Their actions can provide the abuser with plausible deniability, as the abuser can claim they are not directly responsible for the actions of others.
This is classed as Domestic Abuse; other behaviours can be seen to link with the action of smear from a disorder. Find the number to call; stalker charges come into play.
Narcissist Abuse Support - Smear Campaigns (The act shows a disorder at play, covering up with third-party abuse to harm actions the disorder tries to hide. The confession is that there is a set of problems to expose, and the problems are harming more than one person, making everyone a witness to a coverup. Victims do something else; pathological lairs do one thing only, and blame shifts indirectly to hide the lie.)
A smear campaign is designed to isolate you (the same claims to own the victim perception with gaslighting and denial, goes into networks)
Have others abandon you (The same actions that are the problem; others are now not seeing something on the surface)
Guilt you (Unable to live with shame, the victim is still being forced to conform with the facade and disorder rather than expose it)
Make you think your crazy (Blameshift the same actions they are doing to others; they leave a paper trail of denial to keep the actions hidden)
Make you suffer (The suffering and fear of exposure is always someone else fault in the facade; the fake like has no triggers to protect the fragile, abusive ego)
Demonising you to your friends and family coworkers (The action should show the full capacity of someone who doesn’t want exposure; the same drives damage, break to hide shocking truths than will break the public image so the public image of the truthseeker is manipulated to hide the abuse. Boundaries continue to be abused, surprise visits, and stalking. Triangluation, a bigger plan of creating damage has a core agenda, control other people’s perceptions.)
They believe they are the victim. (D.A.R.V.O. The manipulative mind has no understanding of accountability, fearing exposure, the same gaslighting will continue.)
I have to get you before you get me. (The unhealthy comparison appears; the reality of losing the facade and mask, only one person to hide at the expense of others, shows a manipulative person only thinking of covering up their tracks at any expense with the false assumption of having control over everything. A lack of empathy for others appears.)
People that believe a smear campaign were never your friends in the first place (The reality is, the narcissistic person actually exposes everyone's agenda and hidden past, targeting types to abuse to cover up abuse; those without morals and a core may fear their own exposure or are easily lead by a manipulative person with a second thought.)
Short film references:
“When a victim chooses not to validate the harmful behaviour of the emotional abuser and pathological lair, the abuser is left with the memories and shame to process on their own with fear of exposure on the horizon. The shame is going to be put on the victim as they won't accept the abuse for who they really are away from the public image they try to project. The abusive coward never changes, so they try to create coercive control tactics to avoid an authentic apology or accountability. The compensating behaviour exposes the need to deny a truth they cannot face internally.”
“The link to pathological lying in the primary evidence can be witnessed in the secondary evidence, a continuation of blameshifting and harming networks via third parties. The gaslighting is done before a truth can be processed, as the victim is playing catchup. Targeting the triggers to the facade will have conflicting action and double standards.” The blameshifting pathological liar does not want to be exposed for their behind-closed-doors operations driven through insecurity. The reenactment from a childhood experience where the child is now the adult’s age role modelling what they know, but with an expected enmeshment system where there are roles to service the needs of one who will project all they do on someone who won’t conform. The lies are part of keeping the facade active as reality is too big to handle, as is telling the truth about their actual behaviour. See the videos - 'Are Narcissists Lying or Delusional?' and 'The Malignant Narcissists Internal World.'
“They may slip up without realising subtly, but they will avoid the process of accountability, in writing or in public, if the public image is to be observed differently. Anyone will be discarded if the truth is known; it won't make a difference if the cycles of abuse peak with a narcissistic fragile ego feeling threatened by the information they attempt to filter out to keep shame from working its way into the memories that they suppress. Not facing the truth internally is what creates a smear. Odd can become fear of exposure as control is lost in the facade.”
WA - What is coercive control?
Refuge - Are you experiencing domestic abuse?
The allergic reaction to one lie will be linked to a number. By a certain age, a balanced person is operating diverted; it pays to gain an education from universal assessment rather than the pathological lairs view of their facade and triggers, which create conformity. The same masking is attempted to be applied to anyone who makes a consideration that the lair has an authentic agenda rather than a set of survival tools created from not gaining validation in childhood and something or someone didn’t help them stay on a path with a good education. Anyone caught maintaining their own children can be seen not have harmful disorders from their own childhood, repeating what they learned.
WebMD - What to Know About Pathological Liars
PsychCentral - 5 Manipulation Tactics Narcissistic Parents Use To Control Their Adult Children
NCDV - Domestic Abuse Charges (direct or indirect, via instruction, stepping back while instructing two groups to abuse, all actions should not be generated and have a purpose for the pathological lair, lying to stay ahead and deflect)
"Offenders who do not physically harm you are still committing criminal offences and can be charged with coercive control, making a threat to kill, criminal damage, theft, fraud, harassment, and stalking. These are just some of the offences that abusers can be charged with."
NFF - How Narcissists Torture Others and Believe They’re Right to Do It
If the emotional abuser has had an affected development stage (childhood) linked to their own abuse or they were created in a no-accountability environment, the victim card will be the flip side once exposed. As many will confirm in the interviews and research, it is not a fully developed adult you are dealing with; such accountability is healthy in a way; an unbalanced child would push everything somewhere else. Looks are deceiving, and so is the professional victim card.
VeryWellMind - How to Cope With a Pathological Liar
Passive aggressive under-the-radar manipulative emotional abuse when lying has an equal charge to overt aggression. The delayed notification of a lying abuser is still an abuser who only figured out ways to project and manipulate quietly. However, as the reaction to exposure will clearly show, they will have a string of deceptions to mask and expose by any truth seeker, triggering the pathological lair actions.
Psychology Today - The Risk Factors for Continuing the Cycle of Abuse
SM - Top 10 Mind Games that Narcissists Play to Throw You Off Balance and Control You
1: Gaslighting
2: Projection
3: Triangulation
4: Love-bombing
5: The Silent Treatment
6: Future Faking
7: Playing the Victim
8: Hoovering
9: Exploiting Empathy
10: Narcissistic Rage
“Compensating behaviour on the external is happening on the internal, where the lies are manifested in the mind of the emotional abuser who sees no boundaries.”
Important - In some cases - Childhood education and bad role models may be suggested to others in a certain way and ongoing. The manipulator's reasons for the lying and emotionally abusive actions which were put on them can become the reason for their abuse rather than taking responsibility for the harm caused. Projection and influence can continue through the generations without accountability and processing, which creates certain survival tools and a lack of something. The toxic absorption projected onto others rather than being processed is a clear indicator that generics may be the reason why certain actions and abuse always appear in certain families that lack something; a genetic path can be followed.
MBK - Domestic Violence Study Finds Partner Abuse Is Generational
CBS News - Health Study: Abuse And Genetics = Aggression
The deception to cover up the internal mess isn’t working in the way the native person assumes; their operation is normalised, which is what was normalised or considered acceptable. Self-deception is just another lie that appears when only some people are looking.
Forbes - A Psychologist Explains How You Can Deflect A ‘DARVO’ Manipulator
FW - 7 Traits A Narcissist Looks For In A Target
Psychology Today - 3 Ways to Tell When a Narcissist Is Lying
NI - 10 Pathological Liar Signs and How to Cope with a Habitual Liar
Third-party abuse to cover up hidden abuse is a chargeable offence. It is only an extension of controlling and deceptive behaviour that raises concerns before removing from a position of influence; study D.A.R.V.O. (Deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender) to protect your boundaries or a victim’s boundaries and always gain advice from professionals about gaslighting, deception and undiagnosed fetched personality disorder behaviours without consideration such as Cluster B, Dark Triad, Dark Tetrad and ASPD.
Psychology Today - Why Narcissists Can Forget Their Own Bad Behavior (A cycle of denial; they need to be validated by their victim or enablers to stop shame from surfacing. Accountability is too much to take on.)
The facade is ongoing, 24/7, so paying attention is key to the agenda, compensating behaviours and drama… plus what is causing all the distraction from the core issue. If paying attention and the right questions are asked, they are giving themselves away, deflecting, and blameshifting to put guilt and shame elsewhere while doing what they claim others are doing - a simple mind game; everything can be tracked. The hidden agenda has a time incentive; having patience will allow the pathological lair to expose themselves when ‘fear of exposure’ triggers destabilisation and owning someone else’s perception fails.
Choosing Therapy - Control Issues: Signs, Causes, & Ways to Overcome
Remove the enabling supply straight away; it takes two (or more people) to create a lie, just one other to be deceived and believe. Without validation or confirmation, then the lie is nothing other than a fantasy issue that requires deeper changes to the core issues that drives a pathological person to lie, coverup, triangulate, abuse via thirty parties, deceive and deflect. Many may not know the harm through enablers who never think twice.
Any third-party influence to harm a victim further (doubling down in a cycle) clearly shows detached control issues capable of irreversible damage, which is more of the same behaviour to mask and hide a shameful act. The attempt to ‘control someone else’s perception’ when gaslighting failed behind closed doors is coercive control; emotional abuse is now out in the open. The act of harming via a third party is a major red flag; call the authorities and study smear campaigns as the ‘smear is the pathological lairs confession’. Face value study should be removed and replaced with empathy considerations, documenting and linking all data across the person's life, not just in a handful of moments.
Stewart Family Law - Narcissistic Abuse: Legal Guidance In Separation & Divorce
GW - Narcissistic Abuse and False Accusations
“Truth bias is the manipulated element in the victim's mind that allows a pathological liar to hide. Also, people’s politeness is important, as they may not double or triple-check when taking the conversation at face value.” Not everyone will want to see the pathological lair for a number of reasons; the mind game has been played for longer than many realise.”
“Catching a cat burglar in the act requires time and energy and, most importantly, a different education.” The first education was designed for a balanced person to observe others quickly with the automation that values are shared. Not everyone makes the same considerations as others, hiding, subtly testing (mind games), tricking with timing, and watching how others react.
References 1:
Healthline - How Do I Cope with Someone Being a Pathological Liar?
SC - Pathological Liar: 11+ Signs & Solutions of Habitual Lying
FHE Health - Pathological Lying Can Occur with These Mental Disorders
WebMD - What to Know About Pathological Liars
TD - Understanding Pathological Liars: Why All the Lies?
Cetc - Fight, flight, freeze, and fibbing:
Brain & Life: Learn About Confabulation, Also Known as Honest Lying
MQ - The Target of Narcissistic Rage?
Domestic Shelter - Explaining DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender
Medium - This is Why the Narcissist Targeted You
Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Rage: Signs, Triggers, & How to Respond
Sentient - How to Handle the DARVO Method
TUC - Tackling third-party abuse and harassment
References 2:
NIH - Biological Correlates of Intimate Partner Violence Perpetration
Nova - Abuse Casts a Long Shadow by Changing Children’s Genes
Nature - Genetics of child aggression, a systematic review
New Scientist - Criminality linked to early abuse and genes
NIH - Human Aggression Across the Lifespan: Genetic Propensities and Environmental Moderators
Science - Violent Effects of Abuse Tied to Gene
TJL - The genetics of violent behaviour
References 3:
PsychCentral - Spotting and Dealing with a Smear Campaign by a Narcissist
GetCourtReady - The Narcissist’s Smear Campaign and Flying Monkeys:
"The Smear Campaign: A Core Tool for Narcissists"
Psychology Today - How to Deal with Smear Campaigns After Relationships End
Note - Consider moving on to the short films created by professionals who have studied the behaviour patterns. The following extended text below (not live, just yet) is connected to more complex situations linked to longer durations with pathological liars with contributions; edits are presented over time as the subject of pathological lying, gaslighting, and smear campaigns are all part of emotional abuse and hidden issues from the development stages, bad roll modelling, and abuse or no accountability so the perception, feedback loop, lack of empathy for others and reality filtering are present.
“Compensating behaviour on the external is happening on the internal first, where the lies are manifested in the mind of the emotional abuser who sees no boundaries, only a need for validation at the expense of others, which is a red flag.”
“Truth has five letters, ‘lair’ has four, you already have one over them… and they may hate, want to damage, demand control of perception and narrative at any cost create a fragile position on the timeline due to control issues. Keeping the facade fixed creates other compacting behaviour beyond a smear that gives the order away. Pathological lying is a harmful toxic ingredient that creates a life that is,, in fact, a lie; the game is created when others are pressured or manipulated to go along with something if a pathic lair creates coercive control issues and takes someone down. the disorder needs targets to keep the core issue away from their actions. Learn to spot a person in a trauma bond or facade; the coverup usually gives it way once checked for facts, not fiction.
When the pathological lair stops feeling control over its facade, the mirrored action will appear to discriminate against the truth; although third-party abuse to cover up abuse is a harmful, shameful charge offence, it only shows the primary evidence the pathological lair chooses to avoid is still present in the secondary evidence. No one needs a pathological lair to cover up their tracks or cover their disorder. Personality disorders are the reportability of the person, not everyone else, via tricks. and mind games. So gather all evidence as the holes found in the primary evidence coverup will be found in the secondary. The fact that the secondary appears is enough to show that where there is smoke, there is fire. the reaction to something, avoidance of questions and accountability, and using a third party. The issue is at the core, always at the core, and in the past.
References 4:
NSPCC - The impact of coercive control on children and young people
CPS - Controlling or Coercive Behaviour in an Intimate or Family Relationship
"Repeated or continued behaviour that is controlling or coercive"
“A pattern of CCB can be well established before a single incident is reported. In many cases, the conduct might seem innocent – especially if considered in isolation of other incidents – and the victim may not be aware of, or be ready to acknowledge abusive behaviour.”
(Document everything, including if the core emotional abuser does nothing directly; others will be charged as well; see the stalker video; men and women with disorders all behave similarly.)
ROW - Coercive control and the law
NO CONTACT…
Choosing Therapy - Going No Contact With a Narcissist: Everything You Need to Know
Stalking you: The narcissist might show up at your home, work, or any place you frequent. Their motives could be to embarrass you, lure you back, or intimidate you.
Contacting your family or friends: The narcissist might ask your family members or friends to relay messages to reach you or win you back.
Seeking revenge: Cutting off a narcissist may result in smear campaigns to damage your reputation. They may seek revenge by spreading rumors. However, challenging these rumors violates the no contact rule, causing a setback in your recovery.
Gaslighting: Narcissists intentionally distort the truth to make you doubt your recollection of events. Narcissistic gaslighting can cause you to question your own perceptions and decisions.
Love bombing: The narcissist might try to lure you back into the relationship by “love bombing” you with compliments, expressions of affection, or gift-giving. They hope to appeal to your prior romantic or idealised view.
VeryWellMind - Why the "No Contact" Rule Is So Important After a Breakup
TNY - Why So Many People Are Going “No Contact” with Their Parents
The Self-Defence is called ‘Going No Contact’ (with manipulative emotional abusers with control issues that use third-party abuse instead of accountability, for example.)
This has not been talked about until now; the order of reference has a purpose. Going NO CONTACT is to protect the victim's mental health from what is now in the open, harming other people's perception with the same deceptive, charming or victimhood blameshifting cognitive bias. Attempting to hide and double down to normalise something usually very dark.The actions to not let go are seen as a fear of exposure, not concern.
Going no contact can rapidly trigger control issues inside the manipulative pathological lair who may sit back to deceive two groups to argue between themselves, going from person to person to fuel a coverup. Yet another deceptive move that shows people are objects with a purpose to the patherlogical lair who needs to hide at any expense. There is no respect in the eyes of a pathological lair, keeping the facade active to hide, for example, fraud, deceptive natures to have control issues normalised, abuse, emotional abuse, gaslighting, and the list can go on. By the time many have realised they were used, another drama covers up the first drama with justification as the targeting always needs a target for the disorder that wants attention to be validated or respected but no accountability as if the rules don’t apply. A facade is actually for one person; no one needs to take part; life has many other options without someone who cannot be accountable for their lies. Life ends up being one big lie that needs to be exposed for the sake of others, not for the lair that keeps lying. The game carries on, the mind that makes mind games only has games and players.
The subject of mental health and going no contact go hand in hand; a break from the toxic that keeps trying and does not see boundaries allows all victims of the different forms of abuse to see what they were conditioned to accept someone else’s biased reality that is always playing some sort of move to cover up insecurity, disorder and lies. If they can’t control themselves when going too far, controlling others is the unfortunate route to stop seeing the internal mess and shame if caught. The control issues link back to their childhood… Knowing the disorder is more deeply ingrained than first assumed, they are masking to make sure many do not see the actions… when it slips, it is seen as someone else fault. “Other people make me arrogant” or “Why does everyone make me out to be the bad guy?” statements others with balance will wonder why the words and sentences exist…. tests, watching for reactions as the lies are heavy behind the eyes. A loss of awareness and perception, so something else happens that people can access, not the people who can be used. Balanced people can be seen as targets for conformity, so balance requires education and boundaries.
The Reveal For Closure:
Going No Contact heals and exposes at the same time; the victim heals, and the pathological liar smears. Is the confession in the smear? How? The actions that the pathological lair claims as someone else’s… the script, the strategy, the carefully laid out plan are known a little too well known well by the pathological lair for a reason. How would they know something so well… if the cunning victim was that cumming, how would the pathological lair know? The obvious evidence to question stares everyone in the face. The smear is the pathological lair’s plan… stored right behind their eyes and in their memory, pushing shame all over there to ‘fit the narrative perception’ and damaged feedback loop that makes them expose themselves. What is the greatest fear of a covert narcissist, for example? A damaged public image. So, they do what creates internal fear with the same questionable detachment. Tracking the statement and actions for the first time will match up, whereas, in the past, it never did if paying close attention. Just remove the victim from the conversation to spot the lie, and the victim is somewhere else for a reason, to get out.
“If something were authentic, it wouldn’t happen in the first place… it is not just what someone says and does at certain times or what they don’t say and do at certain times that gives the real issues away… It’s the third element that exposes every manipulative, emotionally abusive, pathological lair’s lies away… it is what should be happening instead. The choice to cover up was just another terrible mistake; the whole is only dug deeper. The lies echo as they trap the pathological lair in their own mess.”
“Victims of abuse should never face third-party abuse to cover up abuse; the hidden undiagnosed disorder disagrees; that is why it tries to normalise when others have walked away from a long time ago. Look at birthdays, holidays and special days as a time to protect as the pathological lair has triggers and a need for the attention they simply do not have any validation to claim; they give themselves away every time.” Contrasting approaches from flying monkeys and a pathological lair are only an indicator that something is deeply wrong when control is lost… control is the agenda, and looking like a loss is on them is hard to live with when they only have themselves blame, and no one else to blameshift.”
Call 999 or 911; advice on gaslighting is widely known. Pathological emotionally abusive lairs don’t like being held accountable, fear of exposure and baiting, a trick to make the victim look bad, a toxic action to do one thing and one thing only, not act like an accountable human being.
